On Pang Of Regret

There lies your warm and fuzzy coat on the chair, which you once gave me during our tranquil walk to my home. I remember feeling nothing but the tenderness, the fragrance of your lusty cologne, the niceness that came along. And here I am, pondering over those nostalgic memories and wondering what went wrong. The feeling of desolation was on the verge of giving rise to moistness in my eyes. Twinge of regret started to build up in the back of my mind. I knew this was not the way it is supposed to be. The feelings were mutual, we were strong-willed when we determined that it was the end. The night never seemed this gloomy. Anyway, I go on and get a hold of the coat that was lying. “Goddamn“, I expressed myself with teardrop rolling down my eye, “It’s been 3 and a half years, why is this still so difficult?” I continued to hold it so close to my chest, that the rhythm of his heartbeat would resonate in my soul. I was sure, he deliberately left the coat for me and never asked back for his possession. He knew it would kill me later, but slowly. I gently caressed the hem of its sleeve, pretending the situation when we first met and you being in the same coat, holding your hand felt like I had the hold on the whole world in my hand and trust me, nothing felt better. The treacherous feeling that I go through now leaves me in a murky place of loneliness. Only if I could go back in time, I would never have made a decision and I would never have your coat alone.