Q#4

‘Tis that heartwarming season again

When the leaves fall off and meet

the earthly land like it’s been longing to

& for what it’s worth, we romanticise

the falling in every metaphorical way

It’s the thing about drifting apart

which seems beautifully tragic

Like it’s almost a reverie to another soul.

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Sound Of Winter

Whilst the captivating winter wind crept inside the bones of my body, my heart kept crying for the warmth and healing like it had been in stone cold pieces, only rhythmically beating somehow. The icy zephyr swaying from the northern regions gently touching my face and making me reminiscent about the agonising odes I’d recited for my lovers. It distressed me to hear painful mourns about dramatic separation. For all the handwritten letters on a sepia toned paper had a piece of my heart and the scented candles that now don’t scintillate the way they used to. Winter has always had a tinge of melancholy in the air, in my point of view. No matter how tough a guy you are, it all sort of dissolves under a hooded cloak when the freezing wind passes by. It makes you realise the tranquility of the moment and the fading away of a strong exterior. It’s almost like an irony, a freezing weather to melt your soul from an emotional war. I, on the other hand, share a comfortable silence with my emotions and like to keep it hush and low till I’ve reached the extremity. However, the frost at night and the midnight moonshine have been suggesting me a vulnerable approach. It always catches me off guard at 2 am when I sip on this mocha and smack my lips, while I listen to the old jukebox playing one of the greatest Elvis Presley. This is how winter screams comfort to me in the most casual way. Indulged in the peacefulness, was also a tingling in my belly of the aches that my dear had given me when I first saw him. My heart had subconsciously prepared to dive into a garden of nothing but hopeful affairs of our being. I couldn’t keep my feet off the ground as the cold grass touched the back of it and sent me shivers all over. I was smitten by the sight of him. I could hear my heart smiling big this time. It was the coldest season of the year, but I had learnt to love again in the basking warm winter sunlight.

Taurus

To the person who’ll always have a place in my heart no matter what,

And that’s when I exhaled a coy and melodramatic sigh, when they asked me what exactly was it about him?

But oh him. Only I could know how much of an understatement would it be if I had to cage him in a poetry.

He looked like a fresh vintage romance on a tropical beach with summer swaying by the palm trees like it was an onset to a love song.

And the dripping mystery of his words as he spoke, like an artist leaving its magical trail just enough to have them lingered on, will be the end of you.

Reminiscing how his presence has always made me fall to pieces of stardust, but beckoning him the one last time just for my share of eternity.

He looked nothing short of the soul of all the poetries, I’ve ever bled my ink for.

Contrasting Colours

A woman for her stature, seemingly as

Little as a birdie just out of her nest

But her demeanour quite an impression

Of a boldly wild beast.

She dressed in a velvet textured body

In the most poised way there was,

Almost mistaking for the swords

She ruggedly drew out of her mouth.

Her apparent improperness was too loud

For creating a societal impression,

Little did she care about fitting in

In this dramatic world as it is.

Embracing her composure at times

While, winning hearts with her

Soothing chaotic disturbance.

Poetry and art were no casualness,

For she would bleed the ink on page

If that’s what it took.

She had known the redness of blood

And the dreamy pale yellows,

She chose the life of black & white

Because she lives for metaphors

And tragic paradoxes.

Change

There is no other way to put it but I have changed. If I had to go back in time, I wouldn’t change any bit of it. Because I’m sure, the puzzle of my life would eventually fall in place. All that seems like a state of disarray right now, will turn into a life with less chaos, I hope. These two years couldn’t be better described as a rollercoaster ride for me. A journey of melancholic state of mind to sheer contentment within no seconds. But isn’t it the uncanny paradox of life after all? From a naive little woman who lacked confidence and wisdom to a strong headed and slightly extrovert person that I’m now, you could say a lot has changed over time but except for the fact that I’m still little. Although jokes apart, twenty years of life are supposedly enough to give you hell lot of experiences and in time I have learnt. I’ve met people that I wish I hadn’t and prioritised them more than they deserved. But again, I’ve also been a sassy and mean fuckin prick to people. I’ve been sad in a bar that was blaring loud music but all I could think about was how did it happen to me. But again, I’ve also drank excessively too much and danced with people I don’t know of, so that I could forget my mere existence. Which I should suggest is a solution to most of my problems, alcohol. I’ve been in an unrequited love and it has been exhaustingly saddening. But again, it has taken the most out of me and I won’t regret it one bit. I hate the fact that I make no time and effort to write poetry anymore, because honestly it was the only good thing in my life. But again, I’ve started living and going out more while connecting with new people and I’m clearly not apologetic about it. Sometimes you wish you could write your own story and make it happen the way you want. But again, a monotonous life is not too surprising and who wouldn’t like bit of a change every now and then?

Beautiful Lie

running on the music and

night highs of intoxicated love,

consuming the mere psych of

my whole existence,

there you were

just looking at your phone

having your drink and

all the mundane things

i knew you were worth the last shot

you don’t get the precious things that easy,

building the courage to confess yet again

amidst my mind almost tipsy

shuffling through the tracks,

i waited patiently for that one song

observing the strings as if echoing in our veins,

nostalgically reminding of our firsts,

the rhythmic pace so smooth like

it’s the only song our hearts have ever heard,

with every tempo high and low

we make do with the adversities that ever came across,

lyrics you wrote on my back with

your fingertips as if unfolding every mystery in the world

the spell you cast on me tonight is

as good as Adele’s song,

so let’s skip the talking because

i’d be more than happy to live a night

engulfed in a lie than the harsh truth

of us never happening.

The Demise

I remember sitting in the car, clenching my fist, holding onto the passenger seat as firmly as I could. It wasn’t really out of sadness alone, but mélange of emotions ran into my mind at that instant. There was barely any distinct thought prevailing in my mind. Everything mostly started to fade away into the traffic lights and car horns, as my eyes witnessed a blurry vision. My heartbeat was faster than usual, only hoping the news I’ve been told is false. “We’re here”, my uncle said as he drove us right outside the hospital. I didn’t want to get in. I didn’t want to know the truth. I’ve always been a person who would rather ignore an unfavorable situation than face it. But here I knew I couldn’t run away and had to face it all, come what may. Whilst I was walking to his room, my eyes were already beginning to produce tears and my palms induced sweat. It was a tranquilized ambience in there. Though I was engulfed in my own gushing emotional storm that was inside me. From the main entrance to the room he was in, felt like the longest walk of my life but the distance wasn’t getting any shorter. It had to end somewhere. I reached the door with my trembling hands and opened it. There he was, lying so much at ease one could hardly tell. I could feel myself getting numb to the situation. My father was the strongest and the greatest man I knew. How could something so dreadful happen to a person as great as him? I lost him. I could see him and say that he wanted to talk to me. Talk to me about his unsaid feelings, love for his daughters, his last words to me. But if only that was possible. As I looked at his impeccable face, nothing but a walk through memory lane turned more visible. I drove that bicycle without any fear for I knew he had my back and for all that times I fell in the abyss of nothingness, he pulled me right back to the reality. He was the man who got everything best for her daughters, spoiled them with endless luxuries and what not. Motivated me through the difficult times and supported me no matter what. All the little surprises for my birthday which were not so little, all the expensive tours and the happiness that came along, all the jovial moments spent with you is something I’m going to cherish forever. “Are you okay?” a person asked me disturbing my nostalgic state of mind. How was I ever going to be okay? That’s my father on the deathbed. The occurrence of a catastrophe like this is the last thing I’d ever expect. I was in tears by now but at this moment I knew I had to be strong enough to look after my family first. My mother and sister were shattered in tears. I held them both firmly in my arms, promising how everything will be just fine. It was 4 AM when all of this happened and it felt like the longest night had finally passed but the memories did not.